I usually blab on for a little bit because I have opinions on everything from burgers to why we should not have children. Too much? Okay change of topic. I’ll keep this relatively short so we can cut to the chase. The chase involves Mr Magnum which holds its own little compartment of my heart but at times I’m like, ‘whyyyy are you so not as amazing to me as you once were? Have you fallen in love with someone else?’ (ie. someone else meaning making megalomaniac profits).
Magnum is still a prestigious, luxury ice cream but with competitors like Connoisseur bringing out adventurous combos like Sicilian Blood Orange and Chocolate or the ever-tempting sounds of Mexican Chilli Chocolate with Churros, stakes are as high as the sugar levels in your little treat. Lactose sensitivities have meant Connoisseur might as well not exist in my world (they use 100% real cream), Magnum and its chase of the money man is still a go for moi (they opt for a blend of fakey shit like milk powders and whatnot).
But as usual, I digress. To the reviews we go! Yes, reviews, as there are two flavours in this beautifully packaged range!
Name: Magnum Americana Peanut Butter Crunch (RRP $4)
– Limited edition Americana flavour range
– 280 calories
– 50% of your daily saturated fat intake (Ha! Good luck deep fried fiends!)
– Rainforest Trade Alliance approved
– 6 teaspoons of sugar
If looks could kill I’d be dead. I haven’t see more stunning packaging on a Magnum ever! So lush! Open up your packet however and it looks exactly like a regular Almond Magnum which is not so much a bad thing but a blasé thing to do on the ice cream conglomerate’s behalf. Come oooon, where’s the peanut butter crushed up and coated on the chocolate? Where’s the pizazz Mags? Take your first bite and you’ll feel mixed things. Elation that you felt the textural crunch of real peanut pieces and the pleasing caramel colour but slight disappointment due to a weird lingering (almost sour) flavour. What in the world was that? The peanut butter flavour isn’t so much a punch but a slap in the face and no one wants that. Who wants to join a petition against this idiocy?! I give it a very generous 2.5 out of 5.
Name: Magnum Americana Chocolate Cookie Crumble (RRP $4)
– Only 16 calories lighter an option than the peanut butter flavour – health conscious go here
– Everything else is same as above
I’ve always been a trash TV queen but as Lydia would drawl out on the Real Housewives of Melbourne: WOHW. Like wohw. This rises well above its counterpart and hits all the right notes (omg I really did just say notes in reference to an ice cream…what is happening?!). The milky white with Oreo-like cookie chunk outer is sexaaaay! And with one bite, you get a crazy contrast with the chocolate ice cream innards. Perfection. I mean, the sweetness of the white chocolate contrasting with the bittersweet melty awesomeness within is too good. I really wish this wasn’t limited edition, it’s one of the first non-classic flavours that actually works! Amazing effort on this one – if it weren’t for the hefty pricetag I’d give full marks but let’s go 4.5 out of 5 to play it safe.
Ice cream flavours are getting wackier and more calorific and I’m embarrassingly still waiting to try the Golden Gaytime in a teeeeeeeerrrrrbbb! ‘Til next time, have a great week lovelies!